KAHLAN TURNED EXPECTANTLY WHEN he batted a limb out of the way as he pushed into the wayward pine and flopped down in front of the fire. He pulled his pack across the ground and started jamming things in it.
"Well?" .
Richard shot her an angry glare. "I found her tracks, going west, back the way we came. They join the trail a few hundred yards out. They're hours old." He pointed to the ground at the back of the wayward pine. "That's where she went out. She circled around you through the woods, well clear of us. I've tracked men who didn't want to be found, and their trails were easier to follow. She walks on top of things, roots, rocks, and she's too little to make a print where another would. Did you see her arms?"
"I saw long bruises. They are from a switch."
"No, I mean scratches."
"I saw no scratches."
"Exactly. Her dress had burrs on it; she's been through the bramble, yet she had no scratches on her arms. She's tender, so she avoids brushing up against anything. An adult would just push past, leave a trail of disturbed or broken branches. She almost never touches anything. You should see the trail I left, going through the bushes trying to track her; a blind man could follow it. She moves through the underbrush like air. Even when she was back on the trail, I couldn't tell for a while. Her feet are bare; she doesn't like stepping in water or mud-it makes her feet colder-so she steps where it's dry, where you can't see her passing."
"I should have seen her leaving."
He realized Kahlan thought he was blaming her. He let out an exasperated breath. "It's not your fault, Kahlan. If I had been standing watch, I wouldn't have seen her go either. She didn't want to be seen. She's one smart little girl."
It didn't seem to make her feel any better. "But you can track her, right?"
He gave her a sidelong glance. "I can." He reached to his breast. "I found this in my shirt pocket." He lifted an eyebrow. "By my heart." He pulled out the lock of Rachel's hair, tied with the vine. He twisted it in his fingers. "To remember her by."
Kahlan's face was ashen as she rose. "This is my fault." She pushed out of the wayward pine. He tried to grab her arm, but she tore away from him.
Richard set his pack aside and followed. Kahlan stood off a ways, her arms folded below her breasts, her back to him. She stared off into the woods.
"Kahlan, it isn't your fault."
She nodded. "It was my hair. Didn't you see the fear in her eyes when she looked at my hair? I have seen that look a thousand times. Do you have any idea what it's like to frighten people, even children, all the time?" He didn't answer. "Richard? Cut my hair for me?"
"What?"
She turned to him, pleading in her eyes. "Cut it off for me?"
He watched the hurt in her eyes. "Why haven't you just cut it yourself?"
She turned away. "I cannot. The magic will not allow a Confessor to cut her own hair. If we try, it brings pain so great, it prevents us from doing so."
"How could that be?" "Remember the pain you suffered, from the magic of the sword, when you killed a man the first time? It is the same pain. It will render a Confessor unconscious before the task can be accomplished. I tried only once. Every Confessor tries once. But only once. Our hair must be cut by another when it needs trimming. But none would dare to cut it all of." She turned to him once more. "Will you do it for me? Will you cut my hair?"
He looked away from her eyes, to the brightening slate blue sky, trying to understand what it was he was feeling, what it was she must be feeling. There was so much he didn't know about her, still. Her life, her world, was a mystery to him. There had been a time when he wanted to know it all. Now he knew he never could; the gulf between them was filled with magic. Magic, designed, it seemed, explicitly to keep them apart.
His eyes returned to her. "No.".
"May I know why?"
"Because I respect you for who you are. The Kahlan I know wouldn't want to fool people by trying to make them think she is less than she is. Even if you did fool some, it would change nothing. You are who you are: the Mother Confessor. We all can be no more, or less, than who we are." He smiled. "A wise woman, a friend of mine, told me that once."
"Any man would leap for the chance to cut a Confessor's hair."
"Not this one. This one is your friend."
She gave a nod, her arms still folded against her stomach. "She must be cold. She didn't even take a blanket."
"She didn't take any food either, other than that loaf of bread she's saving for some reason, and she was starving."
Kahlan smiled at last. "She ate more than you and me together. At least her belly is full. Richard, when she gets to Homers Mill . . ."
"She isn't going to Homers Mill."
Kahlan came closer. "But that's where her grandmother is."
Richard shook his head. "She doesn't have a grandmother. When she said her grandmother was in Homers Mill, and I told her she couldn't go there, she didn't even falter. She simply said she would go somewhere else. She never gave it a thought, never asked about her grandmother, or even raised an objection. She's running from something."
"Running? Maybe from whoever put those bruises on her arms."
"And on her back. Whenever my hand touched one, she flinched, but she didn't say anything. She wanted to be hugged that badly." Kahlan's brow wrinkled with sorrow. "I'd say she was running from whoever cut her hair like that."
"Her hair?"
He nodded again. "It was meant to mark her, maybe as property. No one would cut someone's hair like that, except to give a message. Especially in the Midlands, where everyone pays so much attention to hair. It was deliberate, a message of power over her. That's why I cut it for. her, to remove the mark."
Kahlan stared at nothing in particular. "That was why she was so happy to have it cut even," she whispered.
"There is more to it, though, than simply running away. She lies easier than a gambler. She lies with the ease of someone who has a powerful need."
Her eyes came to his again. "Like what?"
"I don't know." He sighed. "But it has something to do with that loaf 'of bread."
"The bread? Do you really think so?"
"She had no shoes, no cloak, nothing but her doll. It's her most precious possession, she's devoted to it, yet she let us touch it. But she wouldn't let us get within an arm's length of that loaf of bread. I don't know much about the magic in the Midlands, but where I come from, a little girl will not value a loaf of bread more than her doll, and I don't think it's any different here. Did you see the look in her eyes when you reached for the bread, and she snatched it away? If she had had a knife, and you hadn't backed off, she would have used it on you."
"Richard," she admonished, "you can't really believe that about a little girl. A loaf of bread couldn't be that important to her."
"No? You said yourself she ate as much as both of us put together. I was beginning to think she was related to Zedd. Explain why if she was half starved, she hadn't even nibbled on that loaf of bread:" He shook his head. "There is something going on, and that loaf of bread is at the center of it."
Kahlan took a step toward him. "So, we're going after her?"
Richard felt the weight of the tooth against his chest. He took a deep breath, letting it out slowly. "No. As Zedd is fond of saying, nothing is ever easy. How can we justify going after one little girl, to solve the riddle of her loaf of bread, while Rahl goes after the box?"
She took his hand in one of hers, looked down at it. "I hate what Darken Rahl does to us, the way he twists us." She squeezed his hand. "She got into our hearts awfully quick."
Richard gave her a one-armed hug. "That she did. She's one special little girl. I hope she finds what she's after, and that she is safe." He let go -of Kahlan and started for the wayward pine, to get their things. "Let's get moving."
Neither wanted to think about how they felt, that they were deserting Rachel, condemning her to the embrace of dangers she knew nothing about and was defenseless against, and so both set their minds to covering as much ground as fast as they could. The bright day wore on with an endless expanse of rugged forest, and with their exertion they didn't notice the cold.
Richard was always glad when he saw a spiderweb stretched across the trail; he had begun to think of spiders as his guardians. When he had been a guide, he had always been annoyed to have them tickle his face. Thank you, sister spider, he said to himself every time he passed one now.
Near midday, they stopped for a break on sunlit rocks in an icy stream. Richard splashed the frigid water on his face, trying to work up some energy. He was tired already. Lunch was cold, too, and lasted only as long as it took to bolt it down. They both stuffed the last bites in their, mouths, brushed their hands off on their pants, and hopped down off the flat, pink rock.
As much as he tried not to think about Rachel, he found himself frowning with worry before he realized he was doing it again. He saw Kahlan's brow wrinkle sometimes when she turned, checking to the sides. One time he asked if she thought he had made the right decision. She didn't have to ask which decision he was talking about. She asked how long he thought it would have taken to catch her. He thought two days, if every- thing went right, at least one to catch her and another back. Two days, she had told him, was more than they could afford. It felt reassuring to hear her say it.
Late in the afternoon, the sun slipped behind a distant peak of one of the mountains of the Rang'Shada, muting and softening the colors of the woods, calming the wind, and settling a stillness over the countryside. Richard was able to set aside his thought of Rachel as he concentrated on what they would do when they reached Tamarang.
"Kahlan, Zedd told us we both had to stay away from Darken Rahl, that we have no power against him, no defense."
She gave a short glance over her shoulder. "That's what he said."
Richard frowned. "Well, Shota said the Queen wouldn't have the box for long."
"Maybe when she said that, she meant we would get it soon."
"No, it was a warning, that the Queen wouldn't have it long, meaning we must hurry. So what if Darken Rahl is already there?"
She looked over her shoulder, then slowed, and walked next to him. "So what if he is? There is no other way. I'm going to Tamarang. Do you wish to wait behind for me?"
"Of course not! I'm only saying we should keep in mind what we are walking into; that Darken Rahl might be there."
"I have had that thought in my mind for a long time now."
He walked next to her for a minute without saying anything. At last he asked, "And what have you concluded? What will we do if he is there?"
She stared straight ahead as she spoke. "If .Darken Rahl is in Tamarang, and we go there, then in all likelihood-we will die."
Richard lost a stride; she didn't wait for him, but walked on.
As the woods grew darker, a few small clouds glowed red, the dying embers of day. The trail had begun following the Callisidrin River, sometimes taking them close enough for a view of it, and even when it didn't, they could still hear the rush of its brown waters. Richard hadn't seen a wayward pine all afternoon. Glancing about at the treetops, he saw no sign of one now, either. As it grew dark, he gave up hope of finding one before nightfall, and so began looking for other shelter. Off the trail a safe distance, he found a short, cleft face of rock at the bottom of a rise. Trees were sheltering all about, and he felt it a well hidden camp, even if it was open to the sky.
The moon was well up by the time Kahlan had a stew cooking on the fire, and by a bit of luck that surprised him, Richard had two rabbits in the snare before he expected to, and was able to add them to the pot.
"I think we have enough to feed Zedd," she said.
As if bidden by her words, the old man, white hair in disarray, strode into the circle of light, stopping on the other side of the fire, hands on his hips, his robes looking a little tattered.
"I'm starved!" he announced. "Let's eat."
Richard and Kahlan both blinked, wide-eyed, and came to their feet. The old man blinked, too, when Richard drew the sword. In a heartbeat, Richard was over the fire, the sword's point to his ribs.
"What's this?" the old man asked.
"Back up," Richard ordered. They moved, the sword between them, to the trees. Richard eyed the trees carefully.
"Mind if I inquire as to what we're doing, my boy?"
"I've been called by you once, and seen you once, yet neither was you. Third time tricked, marks the fool," Richard quoted. He saw what he was looking for. "I'll not be tricked the third time, I'll not be the fool. Over there." He pointed with his chin. "Walk. between those two trees."
"I will not!" the old man protested. "Sheath your sword, my boy!"
"If you don't walk between those two trees," Richard said through gritted teeth, "I'll sheath my sword in your ribs."
The old man lifted his elbows in surprise, then picked up his robes as he stepped through the low brush, muttering to himself while Richard prodded him along with the sword. He took only a quick glance back before stepping between the trees. Richard watched as the spiderweb parted. A grin spread on his face.
"Zedd! Is it truly you?"
Zedd, hands on his hips, peered at him with one eye. "True as toasted toads, my boy."
Richard sheathed the. sword and threw his arms around his old friend, nearly squeezing the life out of him. "Oh, Zedd! I'm so glad to see you!"
Zedd's arms flailed as he tried to get a breath. Richard let up, looked him in the eye, beaming, then squeezed again.
"I fear what would have happened had you been any more glad to see me."
Richard walked him back to the fire, an arm around his shoulders. "Sorry about that, but I had to know for sure. I can't believe you're here! I'm so glad to see you! I'm so happy you're all right. We have so much to talk about."
"Yes, yes. Can we eat now?"
Kahlan came and gave him a hug, too. "We were so worried about you."
Zedd longingly eyed the cooking pot over her shoulder as he hugged her back. "Yes, yes. But this would all go better on a full stomach."
"But it isn't done yet," she smiled.
Zedd gave a look of disappointment. "Not done? Are you sure? Perhaps we could check."
"Quite sure. We've only just started it."
"Not done," he said to himself, holding an elbow with. one hand, rubbing his chin with the other. "Well, we'll just see about that. Stand back, the both of you."
The wizard pushed the sleeves of his robes up his arms while he eyed the fire as if it were a child who had misbehaved. His skinny arms stretched out, fingers extended. Blue light sizzled around his bony hands, seeming to gather momentum. With a hiss, it shot out in a jagged blue streak, striking the cooking pot, making it jump. The blue fire cradled the pot, twisting around it, caressing it, stroking it. The stew bubbled with blue light, churned and sloshed. The wizard pulled his hands back and the blue fire sizzled out.
Zedd smiled in satisfaction. "There, now it's done. Let's eat!"
Kahlan kneeled, tasting the stew with -a wooden spoon. "He's right. It is done."
"Well, don't just stand there staring, my boy. Get some plates!"
Richard shook his head and did as he was told. Kahlan dished up a plate full, putting some dried biscuits on the side, and Rich- and handed it to Zedd. The old man didn't sit, but stood next to them, by the fire, shoveling in the stew by the forkful. Kahlan spooned stew on the other two plates, and by the time she was done, Zedd was handing her his empty plate to be refilled.
Having finished one helping, Zedd was able to spare himself the time to sit. Richard sat on a small outcropping of ledge; Kahlan sat next to him, folding her legs under her; Zedd sat on the ground facing them.
Richard waited until Zedd had swallowed down half the stew on his plate, and finally allowed himself a pause before asking, "So, how did you get along with Adie? Did she take good care of you?"
Zedd looked up at him, blinking. Even in the firelight, Richard could have sworn Zedd's face reddened. "Adie? Well we..." He looked at Kahlan's puzzled face. "Well, we . . . we got along . . . fine." He scowled at Richard. "What kind of question is that to ask?"
Richard and Kahlan glanced at each other. "I didn't mean anything by it," he said. "It's just that I couldn't help noticing that Adie is a handsome woman. And interesting. I just meant you would find her interesting." Richard smiled a small smile to himself.
Zedd put his face back to his plate. "She's a fine woman." He rolled something around his plate with the end of his fork. "What is this? I've paten three, and I still don't know what it is."
"Tava root," Kahlan said. "Don't you like it?"
Zed grunted. "Didn't say I didn't like it. Just wanted to know what it was, that's all." He looked up from his plate. "Adie told me she gave you a night stone. That's how I found you, by the night stone." He shook his fork at Richard. "I hope you are being careful with that thing. Don't take it out unless there is great need. Exceptionally great need. Night stones are extremely dangerous. Adie should have warned you. And I told her so!" He stabbed a tava root with his fork. "It would be best to be rid of it."
Richard pushed at a piece of meat. "We know."
Richard's mind, was awash with questions he wanted to ask; he didn't know where to start. Zedd beat him to it, asking first
"Have you two been doing as I said? Have you been staying out of trouble? What have you been doing?"
"Well," Richard said, taking a deep breath, "we spent a good deal of time with the Mud People."
"The Mud People?" Zedd mulled this over. "Good," he proclaimed at last, holding a forkful of meat in the air. "You can't get in much trouble with the Mud People." He took the meat off the fork with his teeth and dipped it back in his plate for more stew and a bite of dried biscuit. He spoke and chewed at the same time. "So, you two had a nice stay with the Mud People." He noticed that they weren't saying anything, and his eyes went from one to the other. "You can't get in much trouble with the Mud People." It sounded like an order.
Richard glanced over at Kahlan. She dipped her biscuit in the stew. "I killed one of the elders," she said, putting the biscuit in her mouth without looking up.
Zedd dropped his fork, then caught it in midair just before it hit the ground. "What!" -
"It was self-defense," Richard protested to her. "He was trying to kill you."
"What?" Zedd stood with his plate, then sat back down. "Bags! Why would an elder dare to try to kill a . . ." He snapped his mouth shut, with a glance to Richard.
"Confessor," Richard finished for him. His mood withered.
Zedd looked from one bowed head to the other. "So. You finally told him."
Kahlan nodded. "A few days ago."
"Just a few days ago." Zedd grunted an acknowledgment, then ate more stew in silence, eyeing them suspiciously from time to time. "Why would an elder dare to try to kill a Confessor?"
"Well," Richard said, "that was when we found out what a night stone could do. Just before they named us as Mud People."
"They named you Mud People? Why?" Zedd's eyes widened. "You took a wife!"
"Well . ._. no." Richard pulled the leather thong out of his shirt and showed Zedd the Bird Man's whistle. "They settled for giving me this."
Zedd gave a cursory glance to the whistle. "Why would they agree to you not . . . And why would they name you Mud People?"
"Because we asked them. We had to. It was the only way to get them to call a gathering for us."
"What! They called a gathering for you?"
"Yes. That was just before Darken Rahl came."
"What!" Zedd yelled again, jumping to his feet. "Darken Rahl was there! I. told you; stay away from him!"
Richard looked up. "We didn't exactly invite him."
"He killed a lot of them," Kahlan said in a quiet voice, still looking down at her plate, chewing slowly.
Zedd stared at the top of her head, then slowly sank back down. "I'm -sorry," he said softly. "So, what did the ancestors' spirits tell you?"
Richard gave a shrug. "That we had to go to see a witch woman."
"Witch woman!" Zedd's eyes narrowed. "What witch woman? Where?"
"Shota. In Agaden Reach."
Zedd winced, almost dropping his plate, the air making a sound going through his bared, gritted teeth as he drew a sharp breath. "Shota!" He looked around as if someone might hear. He lowered his voice, directing a harsh whisper to Kahlan as he leaned closer to her. "Bags! What would possess you to guide him into Agaden Reach! You are sworn to protect him!"
"Believe me," she said, looking him in the eye, "I did not want to do it."
"We had to," Richard said, coming to her defense.
Zedd cast an eye to him. "Why?"
"To find out where the box is. And we did, too, Shota told us."
"Shota told you," Zedd mocked, scowling at him. "And what else did she tell you? Shota tells you nothing you want to know without telling you something you don't."
Kahlan gave Richard a sidelong glance. He didn't return it. "Nothing. She told us nothing else." He held Zedd's eyes without backing down. "She told us that Queen Milena, in Tamarang, has the last box of Orden. She told us because her life too depends on this." Richard held Zedd's glare. He doubted that his old friend believed him, but he didn't want to tell him what Shota had said. How could he tell Zedd that one, or two, of them might end up being traitors? That Zedd would use wizard's fire against him, that Kahlan would touch him with her power? He feared that maybe it would be justified; after all, he was the one who knew about the book. They didn't.
"Zedd," he said softly, "you told me you wanted me to get us to the Midlands, and that you had a plan once we were here. You were struck down by that underworld beast, you were unconscious, we didn't know when, or if, you would wake. I didn't know what to do, I didn't know what your plan was. Winter is coming. We have to stop Darken Rahl."
His voice turned harder as he went on. "I have been doing the best I could without you. I've lost track of the number of times we have nearly been. killed. All I knew to do was try to find the box. Kahlan helped me, and we found out where it is. It has cost us both dearly. If you don't like what I have done, then take your cursed Sword of Truth back, I am near to being fed up with it! With everything!"
He threw his plate on the ground, walking off a ways into the dark, standing with his back to them, a lump growing in his throat. The dark trees in front of him became watery. It surprised him the way the anger had reached up and taken him. He had wanted to see Zedd so badly, and now that he was here, he was angry with him. He let the ire rage, waiting for it to die of its own accord.
Zedd and Kahlan exchanged a look. "Yes," he said softly to her, "I can see that you have indeed told him." He set his plate on the ground, stood, and gave her a pat on the shoulder. "I'm sorry, dear one."
Richard didn't move when he felt Zedd's hand on his shoulder.
"I'm sorry, my boy. I guess you have been having a hard time of it."
Richard nodded as he stared into the darkness. "I killed a man with the sword. With the magic."
Zedd waited a short while before he spoke. "Well, I know you, I'm sure you had to." "No," Richard said in a painful whisper. "I didn't have to. I thought I was protecting Kahlan, protecting her life. I didn't know she was a Confessor, that she needed no protection. But I surely wanted to. And I surely enjoyed it."
"You only thought you did. That was the magic."
"I'm not so sure. I'm not sure what is becoming of me."
"Richard, forgive me for sounding as if I were angry with you. It is myself I'm angry with. You have done well, it is I who have failed."
"What do you mean?"
Zedd patted his shoulder. "Come and sit. I will tell you both what has happened."
They walked back to the fire, Kahlan watching them together, looking lonely. Richard sat next to her again and gave her a small smile, which she returned.
Zedd picked up his plate, gave it a hard look, and set it back down. "I'm afraid we're in a lot of trouble," he said in a soft voice.
A sarcastic remark immediately sprang to Richard's mind, but he stifled it and asked instead, "Why, what's happened? What of your plan?"
"My plan." Zedd gave a wry smile, drew his knees up, and pulled his robes over his legs, making a little tent over them. "My plan was to stop Rahl without having to deal with him, and without you two having to get in danger's way. My plan was for you two to stay out of trouble while I dealt with this. It would seem as if your own plans may be our only way now. I have not told you all there is to know of the boxes of Orden, because it was not for you to know. It was none of your business; it was only. for me to know." He looked at each of them, anger flashing in his eyes for an instant before it faded. "But I guess it doesn't matter now."
"What was not for us to know?" Kahlan asked with a frown, her own anger flashing a little. Apparently, she didn't like it any more than Richard did that they were in danger without knowing it all.
"Well, you see," Zedd said, "the three boxes work just as I said, each with their own purpose, but you have to know which to open. That is the part I know. It's all in a book, called the Book of Counted Shadows. The Book of Counted Shadows is an instruction book for the boxes. I'm its keeper."
Richard went rigid. The tooth felt as if it would jump right off his chest. He couldn't move a muscle, could hardly breathe.
"You know which box is which?" Kahlan asked. "You know which he must open?"
"No. I'm the keeper of the book. That information is all in the book. But I've never read it. I don't know which box is which, or even how to figure it out: If I were to open the book, it would risk spreading the knowledge. It must not be opened; that could be very dangerous. So I never did. I am the keeper of many books, this only one among them, but a very important one." Richard realized that his eyes were open wide and tried to relax them back to normal with a few blinks. Almost his whole life he had been looking forward to the day he would find the keeper of the book, and it had been Zedd the whole time. The shock left him frozen.
"Where was it?" Kahlan asked. "What happened?"
"It was in my Keep. The Wizard's Keep. In Aydindril."
"You went to Aydindril?" Kahlan asked, her voice anxious.
"How is Aydindril? Is it safe?"
Zedd averted his eyes. "Aydindril has fallen."
Kahlan's hand went to her mouth; tears filled her eyes. "No."
Zedd nodded. "I'm afraid so." He picked at his robes. "It is not going well for them. At least I gave the occupiers something to think about," he added under his breath.
"Captain Riffkin? Lieutenants Delis and Miller? The Home Guard?"
Zedd kept his eyes to the ground and shook his head as she named each in turn. Kahlan put her hands to her breast as she took deep breaths and bit her lip. Whoever these men were, she looked to be pretty upset by the news. Richard thought he should cover his own shock by saying something. "What's this Wizard's Keep?"
"It's a refuge, a place where the wizards preserve important things of magic, such as the books of prophecies, and books of even more importance-books of magic and instruction, such as the Book of Counted Shadows. Some of the books are used to teach new wizards, some are used as reference, and some are used as weapons. Other items of magic are kept there also, such as the Sword of Truth, between Seekers. The Keep is sealed by magic; none can enter but a wizard. At least none but a wizard was supposed to be able to enter. But someone did. How they did without being killed is beyond me. It must have been Darken Rahl. He must have the book."
"Maybe it wasn't Darken Rahl," Richard managed, his back straight as a board.
Zedd's eyes narrowed. "If it wasn't Darken Rahl, then it was a thief. A very clever thief, but a thief nonetheless."
Richard swallowed back the dryness in his mouth. "Zedd . . . I . . . Do you think this book, the Book of Counted Shadows, would be able to tell us how to stop Rahl? How to keep him from using the boxes?"
Zedd shrugged his bony shoulders. "As I said, I've never opened the cover. But from what I know from other books of instruction, it would only be of aid to the person with the boxes; it's designed to help use magic, not to help another in stopping its use. In all likelihood, it wouldn't have helped us. My plan was to simply get the book, and destroy it, to keep Rahl from getting the information. Having the book lost to us leaves us with no alternative; we must find the last box:'
"But without the book, can Rahl still open the boxes?" Kahlan asked.
"With as much as he knows, I am sure he can. But he still wouldn't know which one."
"Then, with or without the book, he's going to open a box." Richard said. "He has to. If he doesn't, he dies. He has nothing to lose. Even if you had recovered the book, he would still open a box-after all, there is a chance he will pick right."
"Well, if he has the book, then he will know which to open. I was hoping that if we couldn't find the last box, at least I could destroy the book, and keep it from Rahl, give us at least that one chance. The chance he might pick right-for us." Zedd's face soured. "I would give anything to destroy that book."
Kahlan put her hand on Richard's arm; he almost jumped. "Then Richard has done as the Seeker should; he has found where the box is. Queen Milena has it." She gave Richard a smile of reassurance. "The Seeker has done his job well." His mind was spinning too fast to return the smile properly.
Zedd drew a finger and thumb down opposite sides of his chin. "And how do you propose we get it from her? Knowing is one thing, getting is quite another."
Kahlan gave Zedd a smooth smile. "Queen Milena is the one to whom the snake in the silver robes sold his services. He is about to have an unpleasant meeting with the Mother Confessor."
"Giller? Queen Milena is the one Giller went to?" The wrinkles on Zedd's face deepened with his scowl. "I think he will be astonished to meet my eyes again."
She frowned. "You just leave this task to me. He is my wizard. I will deal with him."
Richard's eyes went back and forth between the two of them He felt suddenly out of place. The great wizard and the Mother Confessor discussing how they would deal with an upstart wizard, as if they were talking of pulling weeds in a garden. He thought of his father, of how his father had told him he had taken the book to prevent it from falling into covetous hands. Darken Rahl's hands. He spoke without thinking.
"Maybe he had a good reason for doing what he did."
They both turned and looked at him, as if they had forgotten he was there.
"A good reason?" Kahlan snapped. "Greed was his good reason. He deserted me, and left me to the quads."
"Sometimes people do things for reasons that aren't what they seem." Richard gave her an even look. "Maybe he thought the box was more important."
Kahlan looked too surprised to speak.
Zedd frowned, his white hair looking wild in the firelight. "Perhaps you are right. It could be that Giller knew about the Queen having the box, and wanted to protect it. He certainly knew what the boxes were about." He gave Richard an ironic smile. "Maybe the Seeker has given us a new perspective. Maybe we have an ally in Tamarang."
"And maybe not," Kahlan said.
"We will know soon enough," the wizard sighed.
"Zedd," Richard asked, "yesterday, we went to a place called Homers Mill." Zedd nodded. "I saw it. And I have seen many more just like it."
Richard leaned forward. "It wasn't Westlanders, was it? It couldn't have been Westlanders. I told Michael to get the army together and protect Westland. I didn't tell him to attack anyone. Certainly not helpless people. It couldn't have been Westlanders; they wouldn't do that."
"No, it wasn't anyone from Westland. I haven't seen or heard from Michael."
"Then who?"
"It was Rahl's own men who did it, by his command."
"That does not make any sense," Kahlan said. "The town was loyal to D'Hara. There were forces of the People's Peace Army there, and they were killed to a man."
"That's the very reason he did it."
They both gave him puzzled looks. "That doesn't make any sense," Kahlan said.
"Wizard's First Rule."
Richard frowned. "What?"
"Wizard's First Rule: people are stupid." Richard and Kahlan frowned even more. "People are stupid; given proper motivation, almost anyone will believe almost anything. Because people are stupid, they will believe a lie because they want to believe it's true, or because they are afraid it might be true. People's heads are full of knowledge, facts, and beliefs, and most of it is false, yet they think it all true. People are stupid; they can only rarely tell the difference between a lie and the truth, and yet they are confident they can, and so are all the easier to fool.
"Because of the Wizard's First Rule, the old wizards created Confessors, and Seekers, as a means of helping find the truth, when the truth is important enough. Rahl knows the Wizard's Rules. He is using the first one. People need an enemy to feel a sense of purpose. It's easy to lead people when they have a sense of purpose. Sense of purpose is more important by far than the truth. In fact, truth has no bearing in this. Darken Rahl is providing them with an enemy, other than himself, a sense of purpose. People are stupid; they want to believe, so they do."
"But they were his own people," Kahlan protested. "He was killing his supporters." "You will notice not all the people were killed; some were raped, tortured, but left alive to flee, to spread the news. You will also note how none of the soldiers were left alive to dispute the story. That it isn't the truth doesn't matter, and the ones hearing the story will believe it because it provides them with a sense of purpose, an enemy to rally against. The survivors will spread the word like a wildfire. Even though Rahl has destroyed a few towns that were loyal to him, and a few of his soldiers, he has gained many more towns to his side, a hundredfold over. Even more people will rally around him and support him because he has told them he wants to protect them from this enemy. Truth is hard to sell; it gives no sense of purpose. It is simply truth."
Richard sat back, a little stunned. "But it isn't true. How can Rahl get away with it? How could everyone believe it?"
Zedd gave him a stern look. "You knew better, you knew it wasn't Westlanders, yet even you doubted your knowledge. You were afraid it was true. Being afraid something is true is accepting the possibility. Accepting the possibility is the first step to believing. At least you are smart enough to question. Think of how easy it is to believe, for people who don't question, who don't even know how to question. For most people, it's not the truth that is important, it's the cause. Rahl is intelligent; he has given them a cause." His eyes glinted with purpose. "It is the Wizard's First Rule because it is the most important. Remember it." .
"But the ones who did the killing, they knew. It was murder. How could they do it?"
Zedd shrugged. "Sense of purpose. They did it for the cause."
"But that goes against nature. Murder goes against nature."
The wizard smiled. "Murder is the way of nature, of all living things."
Richard knew Zedd was sucking him in-it was his way to draw you in with an outrageous statement-but his blood was up and he couldn't help protesting. "Only some of nature. Like predators. And that's only to survive. Look about at these trees, they can't even think of murder."
"Murder is the way of all things, the way of nature," Zedd repeated. "Every living thing is a murderer." Richard looked to Kahlan for support. "Don't look at me," she said. "I learned a long time ago not to debate with wizards."
Richard looked up, at the beautiful big pine spreading over them, illuminated in the firelight. A spark of understanding lit in his mind. He saw the branches, stretched out with murderous intent, in a years long struggle to reach the sunlight and dispatch its neighbors with its shade. Success would give space for its offspring, many of which would also shrivel in the shade of the parent. Several close neighbors of the big pine were withered and weak, victims all. It was true: the design of nature was success by murder.
Zedd watched Richard's eyes. This was a lesson, the way the old man had taught Richard since he was young. "You have learned something, my boy?"
Richard nodded. "Life for the strongest. There is no sympathy for the slain, only admiration for the winner's strength."
"But people don't think that way," Kahlan said, unable to hold her tongue.
Zedd gave a sly smile. "No?" He pointed to a small, withered tree near them. "Look at this tree, dear one." He pointed to the big pine. "And this. Tell me which you admire more."
"This one," she said, pointing at the big pine. "It's a beautiful tree."
"This one. You see? People do think this way. It's beautiful, you said. You chose the tree that murders, not the one murdered." Zedd smiled triumphantly. "The way of nature."
Kahlan, folded her arms. "I knew I should have kept my mouth shut."
"You may keep your mouth closed if you wish, but don't close your mind. To defeat Darken Rahl, we must understand him to know how to destroy him."
"This is how he's winning so much territory," Richard said, tapping his finger on the hilt of his sword. "He's letting others do it for him, giving them a cause; then all he has to worry about is going after the boxes. There is no one to interfere."
Zedd nodded. "He uses the Wizard's First Rule to do most of the work for him. This is what makes our job so hard. He gets people on his side because people don't care about the truth; they do his bidding because they believe what they want to, and fight to the death for these beliefs, despite how false they are."
Richard slowly stood, looking off into the night. "All this time, I thought we were fighting evil. Evil on the loose, run amok. But that's not it at all. What we're up against is more like a plague. A plague of fools."
"You have gotten it right, my boy. A plague of fools."
"Directed by Darken Rahl," Kahlan noted.
Zedd peered at her a moment. "If someone digs a hole, and it fills with rainwater, where is the fault? Is it the rain's fault? Or is it the fault of the person who digs the hole? Is it Darken Rahl's fault, or the fault of those who dig the hole, and let him rain in?"
"Maybe both," Kahlan said. "That leaves us with a lot of Enemies."
Zedd lifted a finger. "And very dangerous ones. Fools who won't see the truth are deadly. As a Confessor, perhaps you have already learned this lesson, yes?" She nodded. "They don't always do what you think they will, or should, and you can be caught off guard. People you don't think should be trouble can kill you quick."
"This doesn't change anything," Kahlan said. "If Rahl gets all the boxes, and opens the right one, he is the one who will kill us all. He is still the head to the snake; it is still this head we must remove."
Zedd shrugged. "You are correct. But we must stay alive to have a chance to kill this snake, and there are plenty of small snakes that can kill us first."
"This is a lesson we already learned," Richard said. "But as Kahlan said, it doesn't change anything. We must still get the box to kill Rahl." He sat down again, next to her.
Zedd's face turned deadly serious. "Just remember: Darken Rahl can kill you," he pointed a bony finger at Richard, then Kahlan, "and you," then at himself, "and me-easy."
Richard sat back a little. "Then, why hasn't he?"
Zedd lifted an eyebrow. "Do you go around a room, and kill all the flies in it? No. You ignore them. They don't merit your attention. Until they bite. Then you swat them." He leaned closer to the two of them. "We are about to bite him." Richard and Kahlan gave each other a sideways glance.
"Wizard's First Rule." Richard felt a trickle of sweat run down his back. "I'll remember."
"And don't repeat it to anyone," the wizard admonished. "Wizard's Rules are for none but a wizard to know. The Wizard's Rules may seem cynical or trivial to you, but they are powerful weapons if you know how to use them, because they are true. Truth is power. I have told you two because I'm the head of the wizards, and I think it important for you to understand. You must know what Rahl is doing, since it is the three of us who must stop him."
Richard and Kahlan both nodded their oath.
"It's late." Zedd yawned. "I have been traveling a long time to reach you. We will talk more later."
Richard jumped up. "I'll take first watch." He had something to do, and wanted it done before anything else happened. "Use my blankets, Zedd."
"Done. I'll take second watch." Second watch of three was the least pleasant: it split your sleeping in two. Kahlan began to protest. "I spoke first, dear one."
Richard pointed to the rock outcropping where he would be, after he scouted the area, and headed off. His mind churned with a thousand thoughts, but with one above all the rest. The night was still, and cold, yet not uncomfortably so. He left his cloak open as he picked his way through the trees, intent on where he was going. Night creatures called to one another, but he hardly noticed. At one point, he scrambled to the top of a boulder and peered back through the gaps in the trees, watching the fire, waiting until he saw the other two roll themselves in the blankets; then he slid off the rock and continued on toward the sound of rushing water.
At the edge of the river, he cast about until he found a chunk of driftwood big enough for his purpose. Richard remembered Zedd telling him that he must have the courage to do what was necessary for their goal, and he must be prepared to kill any one of them if it came to that. Richard knew Zedd, and he knew that Zedd wasn't just making a point-he meant what he said. He .knew that Zedd was capable of killing him, or, more important, Kahlan
He took the tooth from his shirt, pulling the leather cord over his head. He held the triangular shaped tooth in his hand, feeling the weight of it, looking at it in the moonlight, and thought about his father. The tooth was the only way for Richard to prove to Zedd that his father wasn't a thief, that he had taken the book to keep it from Darken Rahl. Richard wanted so badly to tell Zedd, to tell him that his father had been a hero, had given his life to stop Rahl and died a hero to protect them all. He wanted his father to be remembered for what he had done. He wanted to tell Zedd.
But he couldn't.
The wizard wanted the Book of Counted Shadows destroyed. Richard was the Book of Counted Shadows now. Shota had warned him that Zedd would use the wizard's, fire against him, but that he had a chance to beat him. Perhaps this was the way. To destroy the book, Zedd would have to kill him. Richard didn't care about himself, he had nothing to live for; he no longer cared if he died.
But he did care if Kahlan died. If Zedd knew that Richard had the book inside him, he would make him tell what it said, and then he would know that to make sure the book was true, Rahl would have to use a Confessor. And there was only one Confessor left alive. Kahlan. If Zedd knew, he would kill her to prevent Rahl from getting the knowledge.
Richard couldn't allow the chance of Zedd knowing, of killing Kahlan.
He wrapped the cord around the piece of driftwood and jammed the tooth into a long crack, wedging it into the wood so it wouldn't come out. Richard wanted the tooth as far away from him as he could get it.
"Forgive me, Father," he whispered.
Hard as he could, he threw the wood with the tooth attached. He watched it arc through the air, and splash into the dark water with a distant sound. In the moonlight, he could see it bob to the surface. He stood with a lump in his throat as he watched it being carried downriver. Richard felt naked without the tooth.
When it was no longer in sight, he circled the camp, his mind in a daze. He felt empty. Richard sat on the rock outcropping where he had told them he would be, and watched their camp below.
He hated this. Hated having to lie to Zedd, to feel that he couldn't trust him. What was he coming to, to no longer be able to trust his oldest friend? The hand of Rahl was reaching out to him, even at this distance, and making him do things he didn't want to.
When this was ended, and Kahlan was safe, and if he lived, he could go home.
Near the middle of his watch, he became suddenly aware again of the thing that followed them. He couldn't see its eyes, but he could feel them. It was on the hill opposite the camp, watching. He felt a chill run through him, at being watched.
A distant sound made him sit bolt upright. A snarl, a growl, followed by a yelp. Then silence again. Something had died. Richard's eyes were wide, trying to see, but he saw only blackness. The thing that followed had killed something: Or been killed itself He felt an odd worry for it. As long as it had followed, it had never tried to hurt them. Of course, that didn't really mean anything. It could simply be waiting for the right time. For some reason, though, Richard didn't think it meant them any harm.
He felt the eyes again. Richard smiled; it was still alive. He had the urge to go after it, to find out what it was, but dismissed the idea. This was not the time. This was a creature of the dark. Better to meet it on his own terms.
Once more on his watch, he heard something die. Closer.
Without Richard having to go wake him, Zedd appeared for his watch, looking rested and refreshed, eating a piece of dried meat. Zedd came and sat next to him, offering a piece of meat. Richard declined.
"Zedd, what about Chase, is he all right?"
"He is well. Far as I know, he went off to follow your instructions."
"Good. I'm glad he's well." .Richard hopped down off the rock, ready for some sleep.
"Richard, what did Shota tell you?"
Richard studied his friend's face in the dim light of the moon. "What Shota said to me is private. It is not for others to hear." The edge to his own voice surprised him. "And that is the way it will remain."
Zedd took a bite while he watched Richard. "The sword has a lot of anger to it. I see you are having trouble controlling it."
"All right. All right, I'll tell you one thing Shota said. She told me she thought I ought to have a talk with you about Samuel!"
"Samuel?"
Richard gritted his teeth and leaned closer. "My predecessor!"
"Oh. That Samuel."
"Yes, that Samuel. Would you like to explain that to me? Would you like to tell me that's the way I too will end up? Or had you planned on keeping it from me until I was done doing wizard's work and you have to give the sword to some other fool!" Zedd watched calmly as Richard became more and more upset. He grabbed Zedd's robes and pulled his face close. "Wizard's First Rule! Is that how wizards find someone to take the sword? Just find someone stupid enough not to know better and there you go! A new Seeker! Do you have any other little things you forgot to tell me? Any other little unpleasant things I ought to know!"
Richard released his robes with a shove. He had to resist mightily the urge to draw the sword. His chest heaved with his anger. Zedd watched calmly.
"I'm truly sorry, my boy," he whispered, "that she has hurt you so.°"
Richard stared back, everything that had happened pushing in on him, extinguishing the anger. Everything seemed so hopeless. He burst into tears and fell against Zedd, throwing his arms around him. He cried in choking sobs, unable to control himself.
"Zedd, I just want to go home."
Zedd held him, patted his back gently, spoke tenderly. "I know, Richard. I know."
"I wish I had listened to you. But I can't help myself. I can't make myself stop feeling this way, no matter how hard I try. 1 feel like I'm drowning and can't get any air. I want this nightmare to end. I hate the Midlands. I hate the magic. I just want to go home. Zedd, I want to be rid of this sword and its magic I never want to hear about magic again."
Zedd held him and let him cry. "Nothing is ever easy." "Maybe it wouldn't be so bad if Kahlan hated me or something, but I know she cares for me too. It's the magic. The magic keeps us apart."
"Believe me, Richard, I know how you feel."
Richard sank to the ground, leaned against the rock, crying. Zedd sat next to him.
"What is to become of me?"
"You will go on. There is nothing else you can do."
"I don't want to go on. And what of Samuel? Is that what is to become of me?"
Zedd shook his head. "I'm sorry, Richard. I don't know. I gave you the sword against my own heart, because I had to, for everyone else. The magic of the Sword of Truth does that to a Seeker, in the end The prophecies say that the one who truly masters the sword's magic, and in so doing makes the blade turn white, will be protected from that fate. But I don't know how it's to be done. I don't even know what it means. I didn't have the courage to tell you. I'm sorry. If you want, you may strike me dead for what I've done to you. Only, promise me first that you will go on and stop Darken Rahl."
Richard laughed bitterly through the tears. "Strike you dead. That's a joke. You're all I have, all I'm allowed to love. How could I kill that? It's myself I should kill."
"Don't say such a thing," Zedd whispered. "Richard, I know how you feel about the magic. I walked away from it too. Sometimes events happen that you have to deal with. You are all I have left. I went after the book because I didn't want you to be in danger. I would do anything to spare you hurt. But I cannot spare you this. We must stop Darken Rahl, not just for ourselves, but for all the others who have no chance."
Richard scrubbed his eyes. "I know. I won't quit until it's finished. I promise. Then maybe I can give up the sword, before it's too late for me."
"Go and get some sleep. Each day will get a little better for you. If it's any consolation, although I don't know why Seekers end up like Samuel, I truly don't believe it will happen to you. But if it does, it won't happen for some time, and therefore, that can only mean you have defeated Darken Rahl, and all the people of the lands will be safe. Know that if it happens I will al- ways take care of you. If we can stop Rahl, maybe I can help you find the secret to turning the blade white."
Richard nodded and rose to his feet, pulling his cloak around himself. "Thank you, my friend. Sorry I've been so hard on you tonight. I don't know what's gotten into me. Maybe the good spirits have deserted me. I'm sorry I can't tell you what Shota said.
"And Zedd, be careful tonight. There's something out there. It's been following us for days. I don't know what it is, I haven't had the time to snap a circle on it. But I don't think it means us harm, at least it hasn't so far, but you never know in the Midlands."
"I will be careful."
Richard started to walk away. Zedd called his name. He stopped and turned.
"Just be glad she cares for you as much as she does. If she didn't, she might have touched you."
Richard stared back at him a long moment. "I'm afraid, in a way, she already has."
-+----
Kahlan picked her way along in the dark among the rocks and trees, and found Zedd sitting on a rock, watching her come, his legs crossed under him.
"I would have come and woke you when it was time," he said.
She went and sat next to him, hugging her cloak around herself. "I know, but I couldn't sleep, so I thought I would come and sit with you."
"Did you bring anything to eat?"
She reached in her cloak, pulling out a small bundle. "Here." She smiled. "Some rabbit and biscuits."
While Zedd rubbed his hands together and started right in, she watched out into the night, thinking how to put the question she had come to ask him. It didn't take him long to finish the snack.
"Wonderful, dear one, wonderful. That's all you brought?"
Kahlan laughed. "I also brought some berries." She pulled out a cloth bundle. "I thought you might like something sweet. Can I share them with you?"
He eyed her up and down. "I guess you're small enough, you couldn't eat that many."
She laughed again and took a small handful from the open bundle in his hands. "I think I know why Richard is so good at finding food. Growing up around you, he had to be good, or he would starve."
"I would never let him starve," he protested. "I care for him too much."
"I know. Me, too."
He chewed a few berries. "I want to thank you for keeping your word."
"My word?"
Zedd peered up at her as he hunched over the bundle, eating berries one at a time. "Your word not to touch him, not to use your power on him."
"Oh." She looked off into the night, gathering her courage. "Zedd, you are the only wizard left, other than Giller. I am the last Confessor. You have lived in the Midlands, you have lived in Aydindril. You are the only one who knows what it is like to be a Confessor. I tried to explain it to Richard, but it takes a lifetime to truly understand, and then, I think none but another Confessor or a wizard can really understand."
Zedd patted her arm. "You may be right."
"I have no one. I can have no one. You can't imagine what that's like. Please, Zedd." Her eyebrows wrinkled together. "Please, can you use your magic to remove this from me? Can you take the Confessor's magic from me, and let me be a normal woman?"
She felt as if she was hanging by a thin strand over a gaping, dark, bottomless pit. She twisted on the end of the strand while she watched his eyes.
His head bent. He didn't look up. "There is only one way to release you from the magic, Mother Confessor."
Her heart leapt into her throat. "How?" she whispered.
His eyes came to hers. They were filled with pain. "I could kill you."
She felt the strand of hope break. She put all her effort to making her face show nothing, a Confessor's face, as she felt herself disappearing down into the blackness. "Thank you, wizard Zorander, for hearing my request. I didn't really think there was, I just thought I would ask. I appreciate your honesty. You better go get some sleep now."
He nodded. "First, you must tell me what Shota said."
She maintained her expression. "Ask the Seeker. It is to him she spoke; I was covered with snakes at the time."
"Snakes." Zedd lifted an eyebrow. "Shots must have liked you. I have seen her do worse."
Kahlan held his eyes. "She did worse to me, too."
"I asked Richard. He won't tell me. You must."
"You would have- me step between two friends? You would ask me to betray his trust? No, thank you."
"Richard is smart, perhaps the smartest Seeker I have ever seen, but he knows very little of the Midlands. He has seen only a tiny portion of it. In some ways it's his best defense and strongest asset. He found where the last box is by going to Shota. No Seeker from the Midlands would have done that. You have spent your whole life here, you know many of the dangers. There are creatures here who could use the magic of the Sword of Truth against him. There are creatures who would suck the magic from him and kill him with it. There are dangers of every kind. We don't .have the time to teach him all he needs to know, so we must protect him, so he can do his job. I must know what Shota said so I can judge if it's important; if we need to protect him."
"Zedd, please, he is my only friend. Don't ask me to betray his trust."
"Dear one, he is not your only friend. I'm your friend too. Help me protect him. I will keep it from him that you told me."
She gave him a meaningful glare. "He has an uncanny way of finding out things you wish him not to know."
Zedd gave a knowing smile at that; then his face hardened. "Mother Confessor, this is not a request, this is an order. I expect you to treat it as such."
Kahlan folded her arms, half turning away from him as she bristled. She could hardly believe he was doing this to her. She no longer had a say in the matter. "Shots said Richard was the only one who has a chance to stop Darken Rahl. She doesn't know how, or why, but he is the only one with a chance."
Zedd waited in silence. "Go on."
Kahlan gritted her teeth. "She said you would try to kill him, that you would use wizard's fire against him, and that he has a chance to beat you. There is a chance you will fail."
Silence settled around them again. "Mother Confessor . . ."
"She said that I too will use my power on him. But he has no chance against it. If I live, I will not fail."
Zedd took a deep breath. "I see why he didn't want to tell me." He thought in silence a moment. "Why didn't Shota kill you?"
Kahlan wished he would stop asking questions. She turned back to him. "She planned on it. You were there. Well, it wasn't really you, it was just an illusion, but we thought it was you. You, I mean, your image, tried to kill Shota. Richard knew she was the only way to find the box, so he, well, he protected her. He . . . well, he turned back your wizard's fire, and gave Shota a chance to . . . to use her power on you."
Zedd lifted an eyebrow. "Really . . .
Kahlan nodded. "In return for `saving' her, she granted him a wish. He used it to save us. He made her spare our lives. Richard wouldn't back down. Shota was not happy. She said that if he ever comes back to Agaden Reach, she will kill him."
"That boy never fails to amaze me. He really picked the information over my life?"
She was a little surprised by his smile. She nodded. "He jumped right in front of the wizard's fire. He-used his sword to turn it away."
Zedd rubbed his chin. "How wondrous: That's precisely what he should have done. I had always feared he wouldn't be able to do what was necessary, if it came right down to it. I guess I need fear no longer. Then what?"
Kahlan looked down at her hands. "I Wanted Shota to kill me, but she wouldn't, because she had granted him the wish. Zedd, I . . . I couldn't stand the thought of doing that to him. I begged him to kill me. I didn't want to live to carry out the prophecy, to hurt him."
She paused, and for a moment silence hung between them
"He wouldn't do it. So I tried to. For days I tried. He took my knife away, he tied me up at night, he watched me every second. I felt like I had lost my mind. Maybe for a time, I had. At last, he convinced me that we couldn't know what the prophecy meant, or even that it wasn't he who would turn against us, and would have to be killed in order to defeat Darken Rahl. He made me see that I couldn't act on a prophecy we didn't yet understand."
"I'm very sorry, dear one, that I had to make you tell me, and for what you two have been through. But Richard is right. Prophecies are dangerous things to take too seriously."
"But a witch woman's prophecies are always true, aren't they
"Yes." He shrugged as he spoke softly. "But not always in the way .you think. Sometimes, prophecies can even be self fulfilling."
She gave him a puzzled look. "Really?"
"Sure. Just imagine, for the sake of illustration, that I tried to kill you because I wanted to protect Richard, from this prophecy coming true. He sees this, we fight, one of us wins, say it's him. That part of the prophecy is fulfilled, so he fears the other part will be too, and thinks he must kill you. You don't want to be killed, so you touch him to protect yourself. There you have it; prophecy fulfilled.
"The problem is, it's a self-fulfilling prophecy. Without it, none of these things would have happened. There was no outside influence other than the prophecy. Prophecies are always true, but we seldom know how." He gave her a look as if asking of she understood.
"I always thought prophecies were to be taken seriously."
"They are, but only by those who understand such things; prophecies are dangerous. The wizards guard books of prophecies, as you know. When I was at my Keep, I reread some of the pertinent books. But I don't understand most of them. There used to be wizards who did nothing else but study the books of prophecies. There are prophecies in them I have read that would scare you blind, if you knew them. They sometimes make even me wake at night in a sweat. There are things in them I think might be about Richard, that frighten me, and there are things in them I know are about Richard, but I don't know what they will turn out to mean, and I dare not act on what I have read. We can't always know what the prophecies mean, and so they must be kept secret. Some of these could cause great trouble if people heard them."
Kahlan's eyes were wide. "Richard is in the books of prophecies? I have never met anyone before who was in the books."
He gave her an even gaze. "You are in the books too."
"Me! My name is in the books of prophecies!"
"Well, yes and no. That's not how it works. You seldom know for sure. But in this case, I do. It says things like, `The last Mother Confessor' this, and `The last Mother Confessor' that, but there can be no doubt who the last Mother Confessor is. It is you, Kahlan. There can also be no doubt who `the Seeker who commands the wind against the heir to D'Hara' is. It is Richard. Heir to D'Hara is Rahl."
"Commands the wind! What does that mean?"
"I haven't the slightest idea."
Kahlan frowned and looked down as she picked at the rock. "Zedd, what does it say about me in the books of prophecies?"
He was watching her when her eyes came back up. "I'm sorry, dear one, I can't tell you that. You would be too frightened to ever sleep again."
She nodded. "I feel very foolish now, for wanting to kill myself because of Shota's prophecy. To keep it from coming true, I mean. You must think me stupid."
"Kahlan, until it comes to be, we can't know. But you shouldn't feel foolish. It could be that it's just as it says, that Richard is the only one with a chance, and you will betray us, and take him, and thus give victory to Rahl. There is a chance you should have done it to save us all."
"You are not making me feel any better."
"It could also be that Richard will somehow be a traitor, and you will save us all."
She gave him a dark look. "Either way, I don't like it."
"Prophecies are not meant for people to see. They can cause more trouble than you could believe; there have been wars over them. Even I don't understand most of them. If we had the wizards of old, the experts in the prophecies, maybe they could help us, but without them to guide us, it is best to leave Shota's prophecy be. The first page of one of the books of prophecies says: `Take these Prophecies to mind, not to heart.' It is the only thing on the whole page, in a book half as big as a good-size table. Each letter is gilded. It is that important.
"The prophecy from Shota is different somehow, from those in books, isn't it?"
"Yes. Prophecy given directly from one to another, is meant to be an aid to that person. Shota was trying to help Richard. Shota herself wouldn't even know how it is meant to help, though; she was only the channel. Someday, it may mean something to Richard, it may aid him. There is no way to tell, though: I was hoping I would be able to understand it, and help him. He doesn't take to riddles. Unfortunately, it is of the kind called a Forked Prophecy, and I can be of no aid."
"Forked, that means it can go different ways?"
"Yes. It could mean what it says, or just about anything else. Forked Prophecies are almost always useless. Hardly better than a guess. Richard was right in his choice not to be guided by it. I would like to think it's because I have taught him well, but it could be his instinct. He had the instincts of a Seeker."
"Zedd, why don't you just tell him these things, like you have told me? Doesn't he have a right to know all this?"
Zedd stared off into the night for a long time. "It's difficult to explain. You see, Richard has a feel for things." He made an odd frown. "Have you ever shot a bow?"
Kahlan smiled. She drew her knees up, folded her fingers together over them, and rested her chin on her fingers. "Girls are not supposed to do such things. So I took it up as a diversion when I was young. Before I began taking confessions."
Zedd gave a little laugh. "Have you ever been able to feel the target? Have you ever been able to ignore all the noise in your head and hear the silence, and know where the arrow is going to go?"
She nodded with her chin still resting on her fingers. "Only a couple of times. But I know what you're talking about."
"Well, Richard can feel the target like that almost at will. Sometimes I think he could even hit it if he closed his eyes
When I have asked him how he does it, he shrugs and can't explain. He simply says he can feel where the arrow is to go. He can do it all day long. But if I start telling him things, like how fast the wind is, how many feet away the target is, or that the bow was outside the night before and it was a humid night, affecting the draw, well, then he can't even hit the ground. The thinking interferes with the feeling.
"He does the same thing with people. He's relentless in the search for an answer. He has been heading for the box like an arrow. He has never been to the Midlands before, yet he found a way through the boundary, and has found the answers he needed to keep going, to seek out the target. That is the way of a true Seeker. The problem is, if I give him too much information, he starts doing what he thinks I want him to do, instead of what he feels. I have to point him in the right direction, toward the target, and then let him go. Let him find it himself."
"That's pretty cynical. He is a human being, not an arrow. He only does that because he thinks so much of you, and he would do anything to please you. You are an idol to him. He loves you very much."
He gave her a somber look. "There is no way I could be any more proud of him, or love him any more, but if he doesn't stop Darken Rahl, I will be a dead idol. Sometimes, wizards must use people to accomplish what must be done."
"I guess I know how you feel, not telling him what you wish you could."
Zedd rose. "I'm sorry the two of you have had a hard time of it. Maybe with me here, it will be easier. Good night, dear one." He started off into the darkness.
"Zedd?" He stopped and looked back toward her, a dark form against the moonlit forest. "You had a wife."
"I did."
She cleared her throat and swallowed. "What was it like? Loving someone more than life itself, and being able to be with them, and having them love you back?"
Zedd stood still and silent for a long time, staring at her in the darkness. She waited, wishing she could see his face. She decided he wasn't going to answer
Kahlan held her chin up. "Wizard Zorander, I am not making a request. This is an order. You .will answer the question."
She waited. His voice came softly. "It was like finding the other half of myself, and being complete, whole, for the first time in my life."
"Thank you, Zedd." She was glad he couldn't see her tears as . she struggled to hold her voice steady. "I was just wondering."
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